Sean Patrick Maloney for AG?
I've been getting email from Sean Patrick Maloney who seems to be running for the Democratic nomination for NY Attorney General. I don't know how they got my email address, and up until today I just deleted the notes without reading 'em because they come in html and my old email system doesn't like html and I haven't cared enough to bother to look for a link to be able to actually read the stuff.... anyway, today I did.
So who is Sean Patrick Maloney and how likely am I to vote for him?
Here's the way I see it on quick glance:
Irish: -25 points
not Jewish: 0 (would be -25 points but I don't want to be unfair, considering I already took off 25 for being Irish, and no, I'm not prejudiced, I just think we need more Jews in government especially with Mel Gibson out there reminding everyone that we control the world - we may as well actually control the world)
openly gay with adopted, interracial children: +50 points
former COO of "Kiodex, Inc., a Warburg Pincus portfolio company that provides risk management solutions to the commodities derivatives markets": ok, I know what risk management is because I used to work for one of those, and I have some idea of what a portfolio is, but you lose me on "commodities derivatives" which doesn't even sound grammatical, so I will have to say: -30 points on principle, subject to losing further points when I find how what the fuck that actually means and I probably won't like it
corporate lawyer: -30 points
also represents family of Matthew Shepard: +30 points, fair is fair
worked in Clinton White House as youngest and only gay staff something or other: +/- 10 points depending on if he asked or told
can't really tell what his positions are if you read his website: what else is new
endorsed by: OY, um, no one? +20 points, let's give this guy a chance
WHOA! is on leave from "the New York-based law firm Willkie Farr & Gallagher,where former New York Governor Mario Cuomo, Andrew Cuomo’s father, is a partner.": And he's running against Andrew? Hmmmmmmmm: +10 points because it could become interesting
chances of winning around 0%: +25 points, I have a long and sad history of usually voting for the loser (R.I.P., Eugene McCarthy.)
So, I don't know what Sean's positions are, or when the primary is, or where they got my email address from, but I kinda like the guy.
Anyone want to update me? Yo, it's.. still stumping for Mark Green?
So who is Sean Patrick Maloney and how likely am I to vote for him?
Here's the way I see it on quick glance:
Irish: -25 points
not Jewish: 0 (would be -25 points but I don't want to be unfair, considering I already took off 25 for being Irish, and no, I'm not prejudiced, I just think we need more Jews in government especially with Mel Gibson out there reminding everyone that we control the world - we may as well actually control the world)
openly gay with adopted, interracial children: +50 points
former COO of "Kiodex, Inc., a Warburg Pincus portfolio company that provides risk management solutions to the commodities derivatives markets": ok, I know what risk management is because I used to work for one of those, and I have some idea of what a portfolio is, but you lose me on "commodities derivatives" which doesn't even sound grammatical, so I will have to say: -30 points on principle, subject to losing further points when I find how what the fuck that actually means and I probably won't like it
corporate lawyer: -30 points
also represents family of Matthew Shepard: +30 points, fair is fair
worked in Clinton White House as youngest and only gay staff something or other: +/- 10 points depending on if he asked or told
can't really tell what his positions are if you read his website: what else is new
endorsed by: OY, um, no one? +20 points, let's give this guy a chance
WHOA! is on leave from "the New York-based law firm Willkie Farr & Gallagher,where former New York Governor Mario Cuomo, Andrew Cuomo’s father, is a partner.": And he's running against Andrew? Hmmmmmmmm: +10 points because it could become interesting
chances of winning around 0%: +25 points, I have a long and sad history of usually voting for the loser (R.I.P., Eugene McCarthy.)
So, I don't know what Sean's positions are, or when the primary is, or where they got my email address from, but I kinda like the guy.
Anyone want to update me? Yo, it's.. still stumping for Mark Green?
posted by teevoz | 5:17 PM
5 Comments:
Not just stumping, pretty much running the show . . . and don't forget $W, director of ethnic media relations!
hmm... so is this gonna finally be mark's year?
wait- by "ethnic media relations" do you mean he liaises with the Forward and the Amsterdam News?
I think you're perhaps being too hard on the Irish and corporate lawyers... but otherwise, your point system appears impeccable. You should patent it!
F-E! You're probably right about the Irish, and no offense meant to the corporate lawyers with heart (you know who you are).... but thanks!
Yo! Just read that Andrew was a debate no-show. Your boy should be happy. When is the primary?
Our power is knocked out so we're in Starbucks at the moment...Ernesto, go home.
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